the world is too small for me now

love has never been good on my part .....
it has left  me in pain to cry

i have been taking life too easily that laid me down amond these dead leaves
things r having life but they r different from what lies in ur world

i cant get her off my thoughts , things r just going in their vicinity .
i look for my image in mirror but it does not show me what i m else it showes me a summary
of my journey .
i feel i ll just broke down into pieces seeing how i spent those days with u

even when i knw i never owned u , i feel i had a bond with u..... u liked walking paths with me
n i loved spending time with u
if things would have been simple ......my life wont have complicated to this extent .

i can see u .......i can feel u but cant touch u .......i just feel like ur mirror image or ur shadow
who is with u but can only be felt......

i think abt u ....

memories take me back to that day
ur mood wasnt good for a reason........i asked but u resisted
i hated the way u resisted me , keeping all what u should have shared with me
keeping it to urself

something was keeping u upset , maybe a dream or reality or some fear
i didnt knew but i could feel ur heart  beat
something wen i felt made me to cry inside
n i didnt knew what it was

i continuously asked u to share ur problem with me
but after many tries u broke ur silence
it was him again which was hurting u badly , making me bow in front of his existence
to get u back
i felt so damn bad .......even  my presence cant keep u happy n i call myself ur lover
okk its good , it was good that u never said yes to me
atleast i have a reason to safeguard my love saying u were never mine
maybe u never felt that happy with me or maybe u felt shame in calling me yours

u continued on my request to u
he is sad
yesterday he called but i couldnt pick up
but wen i called back he didnt answered
maybe he was angry on my not taking his call


i smiled but that to hide those tears from my eye that  were ready to fall down
okk
i couldnt see u sad , i wanted to cheer u up
make u feel happy n solve ur problem

u knew it ached somewhere badly in me
but i resisted to show u those cuts
i wanted it to blead , blead n blead more
as it wont pain that way

i broke down the conversation off from u , saying gud nyt
i  laid on my bed ....still in pain
i closed my eyes n tried to forget what all happened

still i could feel pain even with my eyes closed
i grabbed a hand full of soil  from the ground ..........

it found those gaps between my fingers to escape
typical my love kind mentality
who escaped the similar way from my life